Mother of the Year Award – letting go of perfection

I was raised by two first born parents. The home was run with precision. Every thing had a place and always spotless. My mother: the ultimate perfectionist. When I started out, I ran my home the same way. 

After cleaning the bathroom, no one was to use it for at least a few hours. Leaving dishes in the sink was unheard of. Smudge on the car windshield – not a problem! I'd whip out my little spray bottle of glass cleaner and paper towel in the glove box, and voila! Just picture me walking from room to room straightening this or that; very happy with my self, until...

Life got messy! Not bad messy – just a husband, three kids, two ferrets, and two dogs kind of messy. I couldn't control all the smudgy finger and paw prints. I knew what I had to do. I was going to teach my family to do it right. I found myself always telling everyone what they should do and what they did wrong. While I thought I was giving helpful life training, it became evident that everyone in my home felt as though, they could never do anything right, trying to live up to my expectations. I had gone too far. No "Mother of the Year" award here!

This reminded me of Jesus' encounter with Mary and Martha.

While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10:38-42 (HCSB)

I think Martha could have been a perfectionist. You see, Martha saw that things were getting a little out of her control, when there was so much to be done; with no help from her sister. She thought that's what was important, but Mary was the one who was doing what was needed – spending time with Jesus. 

"Carol, Carol, you are worried and upset about many things." While taking good care of my home was important, I had become distracted with perfectionism. So, I let go of the breakfast dishes in the sink to have my quiet time with Jesus every morning. I let go of the kids chores not done as I would do it, when their hearts are acting in obedience. How do you think Mary felt when Martha expected her to meet up to her standards, and then called her out in front of Jesus? Don't you think Jesus was giving it back to her by calling her out in front of Mary? Jesus knew Martha's struggle with wanting things to be perfect, but this time she had gone too far. That is why He humbled her; just as I was humbled. He changed my perspective on what was most important. Even though I watched my mother be a perfectionist when it came to taking care of the home, she taught me to sit at Jesus feet; first and foremost. She wins "Mother of the Years" award!

So right here and right now; I give you permission to leave the dishes in the sink – spend time with Jesus. Take time to look at your actions toward others when they are not doing something as you would. Are you being a perfectionist? Is there something else that is more important you should be focused on? Sit at Jesus' feet. Listen to Him. After all He is perfect and will teach you, in which, to be as He is.

"Jesus, thank you for being the true perfect one. Please forgive me for not sitting at your feet and listening to you. I let go of my perfectionism to you."

© Carol Outhous Jones 2014